real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
