it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
