So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
