Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
