You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
