I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
