...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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