You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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