Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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