Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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