nut hugger
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
