Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
is wine microwaveable?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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