I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
