Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
