Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
