idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
