As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I love you. Go after that dick
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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