That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
