i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I need a beard to bite.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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