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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
