U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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