Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize