His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
