can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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