Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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