Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
