I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
