theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
