Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
