i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
