I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
