Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
