So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
