How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
