does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
