If i come over, it means nothing
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Enjoy the penises
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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