either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
