There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize