do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
