Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
