You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
