there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Randomize
