I'm really into asian looking animals
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
