The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
