operation harelip BJ is a go
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
