For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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