i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
