genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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