I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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