We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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