I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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