He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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