was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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